Rail-shooters are one of the game styles that the Wii seems to be built for, yet there aren’t that many that are any good. Well this, along with Umbrella Chronicles and HotD 1 & 2, joins the scarce genre on the Wii and takes a whole new spin.  Kinda.

I’m gonna be brief on this review since I’m not too great at the game and didn’t do everything there is to do because of the whole “jobocan sucks at the game” element. Don’t worry, I’ll make this as complete as I can anyways.

Read on and see if the game is the motherfucking bomb.

Looks and sounds
The graphics are not too great. Weird-looking animations (though sometimes the animations are great), low-res textures, constant re-use of zombie models except for some level-specific zombies (I was expecting that though), some weird things at the joints of some models, and a bit of a lack of depth on the models themselves. But does any of this really matter? Not really. Because the style is great. It looks just like an old grindhouse flick. Film grain, sounds fucking up sometimes, weird flashes of light that come out of nowhere, stuff like that. This games wins for its style alone. Some parts include visual comedy which really parody grindhouse flicks like a few “errors ” (like Papa Cesar slapping  Jasper’s glasses off, but Jasper still having them a second after, then not having them just a bit after again). The boss designs are a bit better, with some really weird creatures…

The sounds of the game are fantastic. The music sounds like it’s right out of old grindhouse flicks, the voice acting, especially Isaac Washington’s voice actor, is very good, and the random noises all fit perfectly. There was definitely a lot of work done of the sounds, may it be script or accent or other random stuff, to make it sound like a cheesy grindhouse flick. Even the voice in the trailer-like story segments was exactly the same as in those old movies. And to reinforce the grindhouse feel, some of the sound is uneven(and it’s all on purpose, of course), with vehicule sounds overshadowing the actual conversation and other stuff like that. Great work in this area, that’s for sure.

Story

I keep talking about how this movie looks and sounds like grindhouse cinema, but the story is actually no different. So the story? Well, it’s of little importance. It’s completely cheesy and random and doesn’t make a bit of sense. Something about Papa Cesar creating mutants with other people and trying to take over the world or something random like that. So Isaac Washington and Agent G (who never says what the G stands for) have to save the world. Simple, to the point, and cheesy, just like usual grindhouse cinema.

The game wins on the story side just because of the script. Really, more than half of it is swearing, and that alone makes it hilarious. I’m not one for the whole “swearing a lot=funny” thing, but sometimes, especially in parody like this, it works really well. And this won the Guiness record for the most time “fuck” is said in a game, so that counts for something…. The characters are simplistic. Isaac Washington is the black guy that swears a lot (Samuel L. Jackson), Agent G is the smartass white guy with sunglasses, Varla Guns is the random girl with big boobs, and Papa Cesar is the clichéd evil vilain with an accent. All of them are quite funny and they all give off that grindhouse feel. There’s a few more characters but they’re not as important.

Well, I won’t spoil anything, but I’ll just say that despite the plots randomness and cheesiness, it was very enjoyable and some grindhouse clichés reinforced the experience. Also, this is my first House of the Dead game, so I have no idea where it takes place in the series, but from what I understand it’s a prequel.

Gameplay
Is there really that much to say? It’s a rail-shooter. You automatically move in the same path each time you replay a level, and stop for enemy encounters. Aim at the zombies and shoot with the B button, and that’s it really. You can switch weapons with Z, making the way you shoot different, and if you picked up a grenade you can press C to throw it. To pick up items, you shoot them (kinda sounds unsafe to me to shoot at grenades, but whatever). Shooting zombies in different areas have different effects. A proper headshot is a one-hit kill, shooting the arms rip them off, shooting the legs remove them as well, causing then to have to crawl on the floor and shooting in the chest just causes them to stagger a bit. That’s quite well done and fun as hell.

Boss fights are incredibly easy, sadly. Each fight starts with the game telling you the weakness of the boss. The, during the fight, the weakness will be highlighted at certain times and those are the times where you’ll be doing optimal damage. Very few of the bosses actually managed to hit me. Even the final boss couldn’t hit me, except for that time where my minigun was recharging and I couldn’t shoot when she was sending a barrel at me. They’re still pretty fun, and if you go with non-upgraded weapons they can still offer a bit of a challenge.

Yeah, there’s weapons to buy and upgrade. The normal pistol ( a second pistol is added in Director’s Cut mode), 2 shotguns (normal and automatic) and 2 machine guns (an SMG and an assault rifle). Each gun works differently. Pistols shoot single shots, Shotguns shoot in areas(enabling better combos) and machine guns shoot fast but are no good for keeping combos. Each of those can be upgraded in Recoil, Clip Size, Fire Rate, Damage and Reload Speed. Each of those costs money, which you get from finishing missions (and the better you do in each mission, the more cash you get). Each upgrade has 3 states: bronze, silver and gold, with gold being the best (of course). When a gun is all gold, it’s in its best state.

Scoring is relatively simple. You get points for killing zombies and saving civilians(you lose points if you kill them instead), you get more points if you build up combos (shoot zombies and kill them without missing shots), you get a load more points if you get a long Goregasm (AKA getting a 25 combo and not missing any shots after that), you get extra points if you find all the golden brains scattered through the levels and finally you get extra points if you have badass accuracy. So if you don’t suck, you get lots of points. Simple concept really.

Overall
If you like rail-shooters,  you’re sure to love this one. The excessive swearing and the violent/slightly inappropriate nature of the game makes it really not suited for young kids, but I guess you could guess that already (if somehow the big “M” symbol on the box isn’t enough), and if you’re a parent you’re a moron if you buy this for a young kid.

So… Violent, fast-paced, hilarious, great style, slightly disgusting, solid gameplay. The game is great. It could look better, but it really does quite well. It’s at least worth renting. And if you really like it, there’s still tons to do and high scores to pwn. And when you’re done with the main game, there’s a “Director’s cut” mode, which is a lot harder and it has a few extra things, but only in the levels themselves (more zombies, more areas to visit, more brains to find, more civilians to save). A great package with a lot of replay value.

Any “hardcore” gamer should have a blast with this.

jobocan Console, Games, Review, wii